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Amy Sedaris on Late Night with Conan O'Brien
May 22, 2007
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Amy
asks Conan if her dress looks too much like a wedding dress (because
it is one).
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Since
there's only one child in the family, Amy and her siblings are competing
to see who can be the best aunt or uncle.
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Amy's
brother, David, calls himself 'Uncle Money,' which is hard to compete
with, but now that she's Cinderella in Shrek, Amy wins.
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Amy
brought along some crafts, gift ideas and tricks in a box labeled
"free kittens" (a reference to the gift giving chapter
in I Like You)
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Amy
says that if you have a creepy guy coming over and you want to get
rid of him, all you have to do is keep a glass of water with dentures
in it next to your bed.
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If
you're taking care of a sick person, you can make them a bell with
which to summon help by putting a quarter or a tooth in a tin can,
and covering it with sticky shelf paper.
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Amy
says that a Pez dispenser filled with Vicodin is a good gift for
rich people who have everything.
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Amy
says it's good to have a fake mustache on hand. You simply apply
it to your face and say, "I'm just here to pick up the kids."
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"I'm
just here to pick up the kids."
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Amy
shows Conan a good trick to do if you're dating a flat-chested woman
and want to liven things up...
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Just
cut the tips off of an organic lemon, and put them down your bra...
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...for
huge fake nipples.
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Amy
says it's fun to have urine sample cups around the house.
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You
can take the cap off of your Chapstick and make a bucktooth.
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| Conan has difficulty getting the cap to suction, so Amy gives him a hard time about it.... "I am shocked!"-- | --"I can even talk! I can finish this entire show with a bucktooth." | |
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| "Is he seein' anybody?" | Conan
asks Amy, "Why won't you marry me? Why aren't I good enough for
you?" "Geez, so many things... It's the tie!" |
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| A greasy bag ('the greasy bag game') makes for a funny sight gag. | "Here's your lunch, doctor." | Amy teaches Conan how to make a cat toy out of a tampon--"It doesn't matter what size" and it can be "before or after." |
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| Gluing googly eyes on a tampon. | With two different sized googly eyes, Conan says his tampon looks like it has glaucoma. | |
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| The Interrupter pays the show a visit. | Amy slips into Jerri Blank mode. | |
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