Amy Sedaris on Letterman - August 31, 2007

Amy says she's going to do an imitation of Abbey Lincoln singing "If I Only Had Brain." She says Abbey always sounds like she's drunk...
Dave went backstage to talk to Amy before the show, but said it was rueful because they had nothing to say to one another.	But Amy said if Dave ran into her on the street, he'd have to peel her off of him... "Get OFF me! Get OFF of me! Get away from me!"
Dave asks how her summer is going. Amy doesn't like the summer.	She says that free public events in New York always smell like dirty hair.	Amy asks Dave if he rolls his own change. She takes her loose change to Commerce Bank (which she calls 'the Skank Bank') because they'll roll it for free, and usually comes out with about $111.00. (No quarters, since those are for laundry.)
Amy looks for loose change in the set chairs, but comes up empty-handed.	Dave shows a picture of Amy that ran in US magazine's 'When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People' column. Amy says she looks like a guy in that picture. Dave says she looks cute, but Amy says, "I look like that Bud Melman guy that used to be on your show."	Amy says she got to go to the pool and lay out twice--
--The lady who works at the post office gave her a ride to "the Rockaways." Dave asks where that is. "Near JFK."		Amy cuts Dave off and wants to know if he has a pool. She's intrigued that he does.
"Do you swim?"	Amy says that swimming laps is supposed to be the best exercise; it even exercises your tongue muscles.	Dave asks Amy how swimming exercises your tongue muscles. She says she doesn't know. "We'll look it up!" Then she mocks the 'fun facts' segment that Dave had earlier in the show.
"Fun facts!"		"Here's another fun fact. Snakes don't have ears!"
Dave tells her, "You don't have to be snotty about it for God's sake." "I'm not bein' snotty."	Amy wants to know if Dave uses his pool for storage. She thinks it seems like a good place to store stuff.	Amy wants to know why you never see anything in the background when Dave shows pictures of his son--not even a table leg or carpet. "You see more in a Bin Laden video. It's always so shifty"
For the summer, Amy decorated her apartment like a beach house. She took hair out of the drain and replaced it with seaweed, put sand in the ash trays, has a huge backdrop of a lighthouse, a screen door on her bedroom and a crab claw as a roach clip (which is "Not for me, it's for somebody else").	She covered her luggage with Easter Seals and S&H green stamps so it looks like she's been all over the place.
Amy wants to know if Dave and Paul were nominated for a GLAAD award... "A gay gay gay award... Stiff competition!"	Dave says the he and Amy should travel sometime. "You invited me to Mexico and my phone never rang. Yeah, we'll travel... Whatever."	Amy says that Will Arnett (who's coming on the show next) is married... "Conflict-free diamond!"