Amy Sedaris on David Letterman > October 6, 2006

"It's not so easy getting pregnant. I'm trying to have a baby."	Amy hates it when people tell her that they're trying to have a baby... "It's like, oh God, don't tell me that!"	Dave wasn't sure whether she was serious or not about trying to have a baby... "Oh, no! No! I would never try to have a baby!"
Amy is delighted with having just learned the term "muffin tops" earlier that day....	...and cracks herself up...
Amy's imaginary boyfriend, Ricky, was brutally stabbed 18 times, but she can't talk about the case, so now she's living with the ghost of Ricky...	...But she doesn't hear chains....	...Or see eyes moving in pictures.
		Amy conjures up spirits.
"Ricky?!"		Amy's rabbit, Dusty, had gas, so Amy had to catch her to give her medicine. "I was like, STRESSED OUT!"
Amy doesn't know why rabbits and horses are so closely related, but when she finds out...	...Dave's going to be the first person she tells!
Amy got her first wig in third grade.	Early in her career, Amy would recite monologues from Our Bodies, Ourselves--a book with photos of women with "shags and facial hair"...	"I like the sensation of something deep inside of me. And the thrill of doing something so gosh darn unusual!"
Amy found out that writing a cookbook was hard... "You put a potato in the oven for an hour; not a baked potato, Amy."	"I was going crazy!"
Amy panicked when she thought, "Oh my God! What if [Dave] tries to make one of my recipes?!"		The secret poster in Amy's book... "Sex sells, David!"
Amy teaches Dave how to make "seeing peanuts."	When Amy was a Girl Scout in North Carolina, she earned her "gypsy" badge by being blindfolded, driven far away, dropped off somewhere and then had to find her way home. "When they took the blindfold off of me, it said 'Welcome to Virginia' with a big cardinal on it, and I was like, Oh my God! We're in Virginia! And I freaked out!"
	Dave said he sees Amy's book and says to himself, "Martha Stewart should've just stayed in prison." ... "Martha WHO?"