Since there are already plenty of biographies for Amy all over the
web ("Amy Sedaris was born on March 29, 1961,to Lou and Sharon
Sedaris in upstate New York..."--that kind), I thought it would
be more fun to compile a list of really bizarro and useless trivia
and stories that will make you adore [or be weirded out by] Amy
even more. Oh, and yes, she's the younger sister of bestselling
author David Sedaris.
you have to understand about this lovely woman is, in addition to
being a fine actress and a wonderful comedienne, she's peculiar....
You have to keep that in mind because she's like -- and joyfully,
gladfully -- different from everybody else walking around on the
planet. That's what makes her special. That's why we embrace her.
But, you know. She's not hooked up right."
-David Letterman on Amy Sedaris
had a fatty suit made just to wear home to Raleigh for a brief
visit to screw with her weight-conscious father. It tore him
up to think that his daughter had "let herself go" but Amy did
it for the laughs.
really wanted some Vicodin one Christmas Eve. Upon walking out
of her apartment on a search for it, she ran into a woman on
crutches--who took her up to her apartment and gave her Vicodin.
Amy calls it the "Miracle on Christopher Street."
taught Martha Stewart how to make a grilled cheese sandwich
in prison by using an iron... in 2001. She also gave Martha
a squirrel-shaped wooden bong which she carved herself, and
told her it was packed.
had a long-time imaginary boyfriend named Ricky... Who worked
as a grip in Argentina, brought her back saffron, lost all of
his tools in a camper fire and suffered a stroke. She and Ricky
had a baby, Hercules, the around same time that David Letterman's
son was born. Amy said they had been "trying for hours."
briefly had a know-it-all imaginary dog named Douglas, but he
went away when she ran out of random facts for him to know.
She also had an imaginary monkey named Pockets.
in Amy's apartment comes alive at night. Even her dustpan, which
is known to be a real pain the ass.
Fall 2003, she started an amateur craft club called The Crafty
Beavers. She's the club president and they meet on a weekly
basis. Felt is their medium of choice, and it's largely an excuse
to smoke pot.
wanted to write a children's book about a worm going on a journey
to find out what kind of worm he is. In the end, he finds out
he's a tequila worm and it's about reaching for the lowest star.
The [lame] folks at Hyperion didn't buy it.
Amy was young, she had a club called the Funny Face Club (she
was the only member), and she would go door-to-door after Halloween
and offer to take away her neighbors' pumpkins for 25 cents.
She'd take the quarter, then just go throw the pumpkins in the
once ate a whole pot brownie "because I was hungry," then had to have her doorman talk her down from a really bad
high for an hour and a half.
she was little, she once got caught stealing a fistful of twenties
from a grocery store cash register. When confronted, she said
that she wasn't stealing. She was just pretending to steal.
She was pretending to be a thief, and that's what thieves do--they
when she couldn't sleep, Amy went online and ordered Ambien
from a lab in Florida. It came the next day, and when she took
it without any regard to the directions, it completely messed
her up. When she woke up the next day, her computer was "mysteriously" broken.
She once made a Visine-laced cocktail because she heard it would
cause instant diarrhea, and she wanted to see for herself if
that was true. It was.
makes seasonal hats for her taxidermied squirrel, Winks, such
as a pilgrim's buckle hat for Thanksgiving, and Indian headdress
for an Indian summer.
and her brother David once took out Paul Dinello's car. She
ran it into a parked car (hopefully by accident, I'd assume)
and when Paul returned home, she and David were laughing about
listens to music like soul and R&B, but calls it "Negro
Paper magazine named her one of New York's most beautiful women,
she showed up to the photo show looking unkempt, with unwashed
hair, and had a make-up artist make her look battered and beaten.
wants to make a sitcom out of 'Night Mother, where the
daughter tries to kill herself a different way in every episode.
that make Amy laugh: People falling down, monkeys, seeing mushrooms
or toadstools, men in fur, skin disorders, people crying while
Amy hates: Bamboo, mylar balloons, polyester dinner napkins,
hot sauce, homemade soaps, high-fiving, gourds, futons and constipation.
would love to have a hospitality show, where each week she'd
have to overcome an obstacle--like having really long legs and
not being able to get off the couch--but still having to put
dinner on the table.
loves to read cookbooks in bed.
collects fake food (plaster meat and vegetables), but won't
buy it online because she consider that "cheating."
she was little, Amy would dress up, wear a wig and go to the
grocery store with her father in character every week.
she was about 12, she'd dress up, call her father at work and
proposition him, pretending to be a woman from the art gallery
that her family frequented. The charades went on for a while,
and her dad always fell for it.
wanted to name the family vacation home "The Nut Hut," and persisted
on calling it that, even after they didn't buy the home.
she adopted her first rabbit, Tattletail, Amy told her that
she needed to get a job to earn her share... and she meant it.
She created a catering company, selling cupcakes and cheeseballs,
called Tattletail Industries. The money went into a jar to pay
for the rabbit's care. After Tattletail passed away, Amy adopted
another rabbit, a mini-rex which she named Dusty, and changed
the name of her catering business to Dusty Food Cupcakes.
does anti-fur ads for PETA, but decorates her home with taxidermy.
stores fake eyelashes in Tupperware pill containers.
an Obie awards reception, when Ethan Hawke told Amy that she
had the prettiest dress at the party, she told him, "It looks
better on the floor. You could talk me out of it." He was apparently
taken quite by surprise.
had a necklace made out of wig hair samples. Hideous samples
of hair that hang down about 5 inches. She says she wants to
go to a Korean restaurant wearing the necklace, then complain
that there's hair in her food.
her birthday in 2004, Amy asked Todd Oldham to make her 5 BLT
sandwiches out of expensive felt. Or if he couldn't do that,